Action Figures, Boy Dolls, and Manly Men

When I can get to a computer with an A drive, I'll download some excerpts from my book on metal dolls that deal with toy soldiers. We don't seem to have anything like that around here that's handy. Meanwhile, I want to just touch on the idea of men and dolls. I firmly believe that toy soldiers, robots, and action figures belong under the title, "Doll." I've caused many traumas with this view; one of my male students at my old school insisted G.I. Joe could never be a doll, until I showed him the chapter in The Ultimate Doll Book devoted to that brave lad. Why should it be an insult? Long before William's Doll was written, there was The Velvateen Rabbit, and Johl's chapters on boy dolls and dolls owned by boys and men. Eugene Field had his collection, discussed before on this blog. John Wayne, Senator Barry Goldwater, and my favorite law professor collected Kachina Dolls, and it was men who wrote the first important texts on these types of dolls, whether they are that accurate or not by today's standards. Peter the Great liked them, and many famous men owned or created automatons including Charlemagne. There were dolls, Ushabti, and toys in Tut's Tomb [love how that sounds!], and Samuel Pryor amassed a fantastic collection. Malcolm Forbes and Rod Stewart are known for their toy soldier collections, and the great Freud collected ancient figurines, dolls, and shulptures. And, let's not forget our authors, John Noble, Carl Fox, and Max von Boehn. My little boy had his share of action figures and robots; when he saw my display of German Dolls at a local cultural center, he was only two, but blurted out as he stared into the glass entranced, "Can we take them out!?" My baby boy cousin loved stuffed animals, and had a couple of my baby dolls to play with [when he grew up, I reclaimed them]. Other brothers and friends had their soldiers and Major Matt Masons, their Big Jims and Stretch Armstrongs. And, of course, there is Teddy, in all his manifestations and with all his famous owners, real and fictional, from Prince Charles, Peter Bull, and Thurston Howell III to Radar O'Riley. Well, why not?

I love "boy dolls." All types of them, from Santa Clauses, to scary vampires, to Ken and G.I. Joe and their wonderful knockoffs, to my lead soldiers and plastic soldiers, my Mego action figures, my antique parian and china men. You name it. I have hand carved Zulu warriors, the afore mentioned Little Drummer Boy, my bears and Sponge Bobs, my Southpark Figures, my McFarlane action figures, the most fantastic of all action figures, my robtos and my Star Wars and other intergalactic family members. They all have a place in the collection and upcoming museum. Even my daintier female students love my little Jack the Ripper and Attilla the Hun McFarlane figures, and everyone loves my Teddy Bears and Gollies. Fonzie, who could flip his thumbs, was a huge favorite with my second graders in the 80s, and my little Crypt Keeper and Mechanical "Frankie" are huge hits at Halloween. One of the men who lives next door, husband of a friend of mine, asks for my screaming vampire Count Dracula every Halloween. I hang him outside the door, but only when I'm there to guard him, and he flies, flashes red eyes, and screams Banshee-like greetings to all the little kids who Trick or Treat. They adore him, too. Let's not forget the May 5th Boy's Festival in Japan, either. I would love to be there, and to add more Samurai, maybe a Bunraku or another Karakuri to my collection!

So, enjoy the coming article on Toy Soldiers. That excerpt used to get me interviews in law firms where legal documents didn't, maybe because I proved I could publish something, or maybe because the hiring attorneys loved toy soldiers and toys, too. And men, remember and be proud, whether you call them action figures, soldiers, effigies, or figurines, a doll by any other name is still a doll, or to paraphrase Dr. Stein, who is herself immortalized in several doll forms, "A doll is a doll, is a doll, is a doll!" Till next time, keep in mind, I never met a doll I didn't like.